I think I’m a bit old for a quarter life crisis and a bit young for a mid life crisis, but after working a silly amount of hours yesterday non stop (22 if you’re interested) I’m starting to think I need to step back take a breath and revaluate my situation.
I’m not going on a crazy soul searching mission, and I don’t expect to jack it all in and go live in a commune in the woods, but a while back now I left nearly everything behind with not a lot other than the women I love and off we set on an adventure in a new country. We had ambitions of doing more with our lives than we would have done if we’d just continued on our career paths where we were. Now I just seem to be working loads, primarily just so I can buy more ‘stuff’.
I didnt really think I was the ‘stuff buying’ type.
Dont get me wrong I love my surround sound system, cranking it up with new tunes (Broken Bells is the latest random purchase) or even better with a good movie blaring out, but I’m not convinced that dialling the volume up to 11 was really the height of the adventure I imagined. I think deep down the slap in the face that was being laid off in 2008 has left me with a fear that I need to work hard and attain some sort of financial security, which is sensible. But where is the end?
I’m not fussed about being different or standing out from the crowd, I’m just fussed for being happy and I think I’m having a wee crisis of conscious that I need to revaluate what creates that happiness for me, and not necessarily tow the party line of 2 cars in the garage and a freshly mowed lawn. The last 2 years have just whizzed by, literally, I fell like things are just picking up pace and passing me by. Whilst I’m not looking for a complete stand still I think a bit of a slower pace is in order while I take stock.